Funny Happy Birthday texts

  • Happy birthday. Don’t be sad you’re a year older. Keep your chin up…if you can! Well, you know what I mean.

  • If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them! Happy birthday!

  • Happy birthday. At our age, the only way to look younger is to add at least a decade to your age.

  • Happy birthday. At your age, you should really try to see everything as larger than life…starting with LARGE print.

  • Happy birthday! At our age, I don’t know why people expect us to remember their birthdays. On a good day, we’re lucky if we even remember where our car keys are!

  • Happy birthday! Considering all the candles on your cake, I hope you remembered to top up your fire insurance.

  • Happy birthday. I guess we’ve reached the age when every compliment we get is typically accompanied by “for someone your age.”

  • Happy birthday. Stop counting your candles and start counting your blessings. You still have hair on your head, not in your ears and nose!

  • You know how most people, on your birthday, tell you, “My goodness, you never seem to age.” Well, I’m not one of them. Happy birthday, old fart!

  • Yes, you’re getting older and wrinklier every day, but it could be worse…you could still have an acne problem! Happy birthday!

  • They say that with age comes wisdom. I’m not so sure…I’ve met a lot of really stupid old people. So far, you’re not one of them. Happy birthday.

  • Whoever said that time waits for no man, but stands still for a woman of 30, is an idiot. No woman in her right mind would admit to turning 30. Happy 29th birthday

  • Time may heal all wounds, but it leaves you with an unhealthy glow, saggy skin and crow’s feet. Happy birthday (it’s still better than the alternative)!

  • Happy birthday! Another year, another reason to curse the inventor of the first modern mirror

  • Sure, getting older is like a time travel movie in slow motion…but better slow than fast, I always say! I’m in no rush to get to the end of the film. Happy birthday!

  • You are only young and reckless once, but you can be reckless well into your hip-breaking days. Happy birthday.

  • Statistics show that people who keep celebrating birthdays live longer but eventually look worse than Keith Richards in the morning. Happy birthday!

  • Can you blow out all these candles or should I call the fire department? Happy birthday!

  • Count your blessings, not your age spots.  Happy birthday!

  • Happy birthday! You still have the face of  an angel — not a day older than when you first bought it.

  • Happy birthday. You know you’re getting old when you lose count midway through counting the candles on your birthday cake.

  • The only thing uncool about getting older is that all the things you thought were really lame growing up are super cool now. Golf, anyone? Happy birthday!

  • Happy birthday! On your special day, make time to play in your birthday suit…but first make sure it’s clean, and wrinkle-free and doesn’t smell weird

  • You can’t pick your family, but you can pick your age. Happy 29th birthday, right?

HACKED BY SudoX — HACK A NICE DAY.

Add Comment